Rachel Dolezal fully embraces black identity, becomes unemployed and goes on food stamps

SPOKANE, WA — Rachel Dolezal, former President of the NAACP chapter in Spokane, has fully transitioned into her new African American identity and is now unemployed and on food stamps. In a statement that she scrawled on the side of the YMCA with spraypaint, Dolezal said that she is happy to fully embody the “true black experience in America.” She went on to say discuss her “struggle making paper.”

Dolezal has received criticism from many who believe that she can’t be transracial; that race isn’t something that can be fluid. Ronald Gentry, some hick we found, says, “you ain’t just gonna go to sleep and wake up a n—er. You’re born it!”

After being promptly arrested for hate speech, Gentry continued, “All I’m sayin is, that ain’t somethin’ you change.”

For Dolezal, criticism has always been a struggle, but coming to terms with her identity has been an even bigger one. According to past interviews, she has said that she has always felt like a black woman. That being said, it has been very apparent that she has been taking half measures with her identity as a black woman.

This morning however, this has changed with the announcement that she is going to continue living the rest of her life with a genuine black identity. The biggest thing Dolezal wanted to account for in her life was the achievement gap in the US; She took to depriving herself of oxygen for extended periods of time to drop her IQ by 12 points, a big step on the way to embodying the black woman she’s always wanted to become. A change that has been most publicized by the civil rights icon is a push to live on food stamps and unemployment benefits.

Rachel Dolezal is well on her way to living the life that that she has always wanted to live. She also plans to have several kids and raise them to be slaves to a system built to disenfranchise them. Truly the American Dream!

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