Trump’s high stakes address to Congress tonight: Both sides of the aisle brace for the president’s plan for the future

Republicans fearful of Trump making promises they’ll have to deliver on, Democrats excited to virtue signal and tweet

WASHINGTON D.C. — Tonight President Trump will address congress on the specifics of the kind of dystopian future he has in mind for the country. The most anticipated thing on the president’s docket is the fate of Obamacare. Yesterday in a meeting with several governors , Trump exclaimed in befuddlement, “Nobody knew health care could be so complicated.” Hopefully the president has had sometime to read about it on the Wikipedia page in preparation for his speech.

Democrats also have some preparing to do before Trump’s speech tonight. Steve Beshear, former governor of Kentucky, is going to be making the official Democratic rebuttal in defence of the ACA. Unofficially though, Democrats across the country are gearing up for an intellectual and impassioned debate through Twitter using funny reaction gifs.

While explaining his faults in communicating his faults, Trump quite eloquently summed it up by saying, ““I think I’ve done great things, but I don’t think I have — I and my people — I don’t think we’ve explained it well enough to the American public.” In terms of how he’s done generally, he believes he deserves an A – which he’s working to achieve with his teachers and counselors.

In the address tonight, the president’s goal is to articulate what he’s done so far and what his plans for the future are. According to several sources who have illegally leaked information to APR, Republican lawmakers are worried he’s going to do “a little too much articulation”. Our unethical, anonymous source added, “We’re honestly still reeling from that time Trump said that we’d have ‘healthcare for everyone’ that one time. We don’t wanna be writing checks our asses can’t cash, y’know what I mean?” Republicans are bracing for new positions that they may have to take starting tonight and they are going to have to think hard about their priorities; “An off script President Trump might just promise no taxes, for example, so we have to figure out how we incorporate ideas like that, and others that we’ve sworn against, into talking points that we make to the media.”

The Democrats are supposed to have a good night. It’s impossible to be stressed out about talking points if you just ignore who’s making them.

Be sure to join APR tonight in our live blog coverage tonight of Trump’s comments as they happen.

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