Opinion: Missed the 2018 Oscars? I did too. I’m above such things

It’s a huge circle jerk. What else did you expect?

Has this shit ever been any different year to year? Really think about this. You could have just as easily watched the “red carpet” bullshit and ceremony from any other year —or you could have even mixed together two different ones— and there would be no difference in your enjoyment.

Take a second to reflect on why you wanted so badly to see a recap of The Oscars that you clicked on this article. Has such loneliness and depression led your life to a point where you waste your time watching millionaires parade around pretending to care about you, social causes, or anything besides their money?

Do you genuinely believe the movie industry cares about you? Like what the hell was all of that Black Panther shit? If you’re dumb enough to think that this movie, a bland, uneventful, uninspired cash-grab, was anything more than a bunch of old white guys jerking each other off with the money they knew they’d make shoveling shit out to black audiences, there’s no help for you. I mean, do you seriously believe that anything meaningful was done there? Are you really telling yourself that they did this to benefit you or your culture or your race?

Give me a break.

And why the hell is Jimmy Kimmel hosting it? I get enough washed up, irrelevant late night shit all over my YouTube. I don’t need his goofy, nasally ass on my TV any longer than the time it takes to skip over whatever dying media station his unwatchable show is on.

You wanna know what award show I would watch? Best Snack Of 2018. I’d watch that all day long. That actually affects my life. THAT is an award show worth my time and attention. Not this “who wore a cooler costume” shit they’re blasting on my Twitter. I wanna see which new flavor of chips is the best.

All that being said, I did see Get Out and thought it was a great exploration of racial issues through a new lens. And while at the time of writing, I’m not sure if it’s won anything or not, but I really hope it does because that movie I believe is different than the rest.

One Comment

  1. god h8s bags

    damn this mf mad as hell

    Like

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