This Sunday, remember to set your clocks forward an hour and your calendars to Nov. 3, 2020

Daylight Savings Time is coming this weekend, so we are reminding all readers to be sure their clocks go forward one hour, but also to keep in mind that this is the perfect time to catch Donald Trump off guard. We have to always be resisting the Trump administration and that means using systems we have in place to impede him from setting forth his disgusting agenda on America. What if this Daylight Savings Time, we all came together and used the system to our advantage? It’ll be easy. Sunday at 2am, as usual, set the clock forward an hour…

Kim Jong Un believes Yoplait with granola is “worth the extra $3,” defector says

SEOUL, SOUTH KOREA – A high level North Korean defector, Jun Yi, spoke out yesterday at the UN describing previously unknown facets of Kim’s personal life, such as his affinity for Yoplait with granola and many more disturbing details. Yi, age 46, a party leader, first tried to defect from North Korea in 2009 under the guise of “making a quick run to Target,” but was told to “come up with a better one, we just went shopping.” Years later, Yi and his family found their lucky break when Kim was low on groceries and they made their escape. When they…

Mar-a-Lago to start offering ‘Top Secret’ package, allowing guests to sit in on intelligence briefings

PALM BEACH, FL — Guests staying in one of the elegant guest suites at Mar-a-Lago now have a chance to upgrade to a “Top Secret” package, which includes the perk of sitting in on intelligence briefings and getting to eat dinner with President Trump, Secret Service, and the full cabinet. A Mar-a-Lago representative told APR this evening that such intimacy with the president is something only they can provide: “With our new package, our guests can experience what it’s like to be one of the president’s top men for the duration of your stay.” Guests already can receive a complimentary intelligence briefing if they didn’t…