Here at APR, we’re strong believers that the environment exists. So much so that we have gathered our top five tips for you to consider incorporating into your life to make sure that the environment keeps existing!
1.) Go on a meat-exclusive diet
The whole point of Earth Day is doing our part by saving the environment, right? And what better way is there than to transition to an all meat diet. Last we checked, animals aren’t green, so the Earth doesn’t need them. In fact, Mother Nature would appreciate you getting rid of all of these pests like cows and chickens because they’re walking all over her damn lawn.
2.) Exercise less often
That’s right! We’re asking you to stop doing your New Year’s Resolution! Hard, we know. But stick with us here. The more you exercise, the more calories you need to intake to maintain your body. So if you exercise less, you’ll have to eat fewer calories, meaning you save food! There are kids in Africa who would love your food, but your selfishly hogging it by KNOWINGLY draining your body of resources quicker than normal.
3.) Save water by packing the inside of your mouth with salt
This one is an easy one. Just make sure the inside of your mouth is coated with as much salt as possible. This will dry your mouth out so your body will have to produce more saliva that you will swallow, leading to you needing to drink water less! If you get hungry, DO NOT take out the salt. Just swallow some of it and pack in more salt.
4.) Be proactive
This one is huge! Gather some friends to climb up the chimney of a factory and breath in as much of the pollution as possible before it messes up the atmosphere. We recommend bringing along as many friends as possible so when one person passes out and slides head first, backwards down the chimney there can be another to replace them
5.) Stop littering into our atmosphere
When people think of litter, what they most likely think of is a can of soda left in the grass of a park; The littering you usually don’t think of is what you do every time you exhale. This is important. Humans are essentially like cars because both exhale CO2 into the atmosphere. Here’s our little tip. Breathe in normally but exhale into a paper bag and seal it closed. Continue doing this for every time you exhale and be sure to send your bags to a facility to be recycled
Bonus tip: Since you already are carrying so many paper bags because of our previous tip, use one to seal up the tailpipe of your car! How can your car pollute if the tailpipe is sealed off with a paper bag?
Have a nice, environmentally cautious Earth Day!