HEAVEN, SPIRITWORLD — Late this evening, at the close of a grueling day ensuring 12.9% of the world doesn’t have enough food to eat, God was taking a break when something caught his attention. A little girl from Utah was praying that she would get a toy to distract her from the home life with angry parents she leads.

According to an anonymous source, God originally scoffed at the prayer, but was taken aback when he noticed the girl was closing her eyes extra tight and whispering her prayer extra hard. “You don’t see such passion and commitment in a prayer, especially at so young; We just had to reward her.”

God told our source that he wants this girl to be happy so he granted her wish, with a little twist: The girl, after going back downstairs to say goodnight to her parents when she noticed them hugging and jumping up and down, screaming about how happy they are together. That’s right. God granted the ultimate wish for this girl: happy parents.

Our source tells us the girl, 7, went back upstairs in a huff and told God she just wanted the toy. This is where it gets truly inspiring. When the girl went back downstairs to get a glass of milk a few hours later, she noticed a note on the refrigerator saying that her parents were so happy that they took an impromptu vacation to be alone and weren’t coming back. And as a parting gift, they got her the exact toy she wanted!

When APR’s Chief Spiritworld Correspondent, Võ Doãn Quế, asked why not just give her to toy, our source told us that God spilled coffee on his iPad and it was acting up and followed up by telling Quế that this result was actually the best that could’ve happened. “When you think about it, the girl now has no mean parents and she has the toy. Win-win.”

Quế, an atheist, says that he’s “honestly just kinda confused, but what are you gonna do?” He goes on and says that it would’ve cost less energy to just give the girl the toy like she asked, but ended up stopping any rationalizations for anything he just heard and moved on claiming he “doesn’t care enough about this” to stay motivated on following this story.

MINNEAPOLIS, MN — At the Children’s Hospital today, Andrew Terrell, 8, was saved from a nasty fate this morning. Ready to be pronounced dead by doctors, a close family friend’s last-ditch Facebook post is what rescued the boy. According to a source close to the situation, the post said, “We have you in our thoughts and prayers, Drew.”

It was that post, according to Pastor Robert Toth, that saved little Andrew’s life.

Pastor Toth told us that the power of prayer is a strong one and shouldn’t be overlooked. “Today, thoughts and prayers are thrown around so liberally, but their strength can’t be understated. And this situation is just a reminder of that,” he said in a written statement today. We reached out to the poster of the life-saving Facebook and she told us in a phone interview, “I forgot to actually pray, but, hey— glad I could help!”

Dr. Raymond Hardy, a specialist at the hospital who claims to have performed CPR on the child moments before the miraculous recovery, says that he is shocked by the outcome. “We usually don’t expect such a powerful and meaningful gesture to save a life, especially for a kid who nobody likes a whole lot,” Dr. Hardy told APR. “I thought the CPR was what did it, but when the parents were raving at how happy they were for the thoughts and prayers that saved their son, what else is one to think? It wouldn’t make much sense if I wasn’t getting credit for it if I actually had done anything meaningful.”

Thoughts and prayers are an important part of any recovery process, according a representative from the Children’s Hospital, and without them countless kids would die prematurely by hours or a day or two. Additionally, when thoughts and prayers are sent through Facebook, their impact is substantially increased.

“Doctors have always been a last resort, and we want to keep it that way,” said Pastor Toth. “Prayer comes first and, if you can help it, make sure it’s the only step you take. In my research, doctors inhibit a true connection between the ill and God.”

An important lesson learned in all of this, indeed.