Starbucks: Black employees not required to attend racial bias training because they can’t be racially biased

SEATTLE, WA — Starbucks announced in a press release this past week that all 8,000+ of their stores will be closing on May 29 for a mandatory training on racial bias. All employees, according to Starbucks CEO Kevin Johnson, will have to undergo the training, but there’s an interesting loophole in that: Black employees don’t have to go because they’re incapable of being racist or racially biased. According to a Starbucks spokesperson, black employees will not need to go to the training because “[they] know enough about racial bias,” while all white employees will be required to attend. Hispanic employees are also…

White man killed after saying n-word with expired ‘nigga pass’

ATLANTA, GA — The city of Atlanta was rocked earlier this morning when Adam Cole, a 43-year-old white man, was brutally killed in his friend’s basement after allegedly referring to a black man in his group of peers as “his nigga” with a nigga pass that has been expired for several months. Cole received his first pass from a middle school friend at the age of 12, according to his mother, Irene Cole, and had gone back to that same friend to get the pass renewed yearly. “I always reminded him as a kid to get his pass renewed, but…

Opinion: The ‘UMN Divest’ referendum is literally the definition of a race war

University of Minnesota students have this week had a really hard choice in front of them in the divestment referendum. For those unacquainted, the “UMN Divest referendum” thing is where a group of anti-Semites or something hate Boeing or something, and the other side consists of the Jewish frat and people who hate Palestinian kids or something and the anti-Semites want the U of M to not support the kid-hating side and the kid-hating side thinks the anti-Semitic is being anti-Semitic. I dunno. I didn’t really research. I think the important thing to remember in this time is that regardless…

Letter to the Editor: The term “people of color” is definitely racist… right?

Dear APR, I was flipping through radio channels and a Black Lives Matter event was being covered. The announcer was describing a specific activist in the crowd and referred to that person as a “person of color” and I just thought to myself that the phrase “person of color’ is definitely really racist, isn’t it? How is it any different from calling a black person a “colored person?” I hope you guys can shed some light on this. Thanks, Dave, 28 Thank you very much for that letter, Dave. First and foremost, we’d like to say that we love all people,…